Personal Case Study: Cyber Bullying Experiences and Analysis

Author

Ms. Krishnan N, a Zen entrepreneur in her 60s, founded Nava's Zen at 58. With 22 years as a lecturer, including 13 years in the Curtin University of Technology Perth, Australia Degree Twinning Program, she is now a certified yoga instructor, coach, and counselor. Her expertise enriches her current work.

Abstract
This article provides an in-depth examination of cyber bullying through the personal experiences of an individual who has faced targeted harassment on social media platforms. The study explores the selective nature of cyber bullying, focusing on how specific criteria, such as age and gender, influence the choice of victims. It highlights the role of cultural and societal norms, particularly within the Indian context, in shaping the behavior of cyber bullies. The analysis also delves into the motivations behind such attacks, including jealousy, traditional gender roles, and personal frustrations.

The article further discusses the broader implications of cyber bullying, including its impact on mental health and social media interactions. By reflecting on personal experiences, the study underscores the importance of empathy and awareness in online environments. The findings aim to contribute to a deeper understanding of cyber bullying and emphasize the need for a more respectful and supportive digital community.

Introduction
Cyberbullying, also known as online bullying, is increasingly prevalent in our digitally connected world. Despite societal advancements and the emphasis on becoming an educated society, the incidence of cyberbullying continues to rise. This alarming trend reflects the heightened exposure of 21st-century society to global issues, exacerbated by the rapid expansion of social media platforms. These platforms provide access to vast amounts of information, including the dynamics and instances of cyberbullying (Smith et al., 2008).

It raises a critical question about whether our educated society understands the true purpose of education and whether it is being used for constructive purposes or merely as a tool for vocalizing opinions and asserting the right to free speech online, particularly on social media platforms (Kowalski et al., 2014). This is a point worthy of contemplation.

Research Methodology
The author of this article, having been a victim of cyberbullying, provides a single-case study based on personal experience. Although the intensity of the bullying may have diminished, it continues to persist. The author's experiences are central to this study, offering concrete examples and evidence of cyberbullying, primarily sourced from social media platforms such as Facebook and TikTok. These platforms have been the main venues of the author's active engagement, unlike Instagram and Twitter, where less sharing occurs (Patchin & Hinduja, 2010).

Evidence of cyberbullying in this study is predominantly derived from comments and interactions on Facebook and TikTok, particularly on reels and videos. Despite blocking several persistent and vicious bullies, the author has retained other comments as evidence, which can still be found on these platforms. The persistent nature of these cyberbullies, who repeatedly return to harass despite being blocked, underscores the pervasive and relentless nature of cyberbullying in today's digital landscape (Slonje et al., 2013).

Understanding Bullying
Bullying is a complex and fluid concept, interpreted differently by various individuals. Defining the boundaries of bullying is challenging, but it generally encompasses behaviors such as aggressiveness, being overly opinionated, making assumptions, passing judgments, using unruly words, and belittling others (Olweus, 1993). Before delving into cyberbullying, it is essential to reflect on traditional forms of bullying, which include not only physical violence like hitting or beating but also verbal assaults that can be equally damaging to the mind (Smith & Sharp, 1994).

Bullying has existed in society for a long time, even before the advent of the cyber world. Historically, bullying was prevalent within family dynamics. Parents often reprimanded their children aggressively, either through physical punishment or harsh words, considering it normal and something children had to tolerate (Farrington & Ttofi, 2009). Relatives also felt entitled to intervene in such instances under the guise of care and concern.

Additionally, bullying was common in marital relationships, particularly in cultures where men were deemed superior. In some communities, it was accepted for husbands to hit or slap their wives, reflecting a broader culture of male dominance and familial violence (Holt et al., 2008). Mothers too resorted to physical punishment, hitting their children with broomsticks or slippers, believing it was part of proper upbringing.

In workplaces, bosses often bullied employees. For instance, 40 years ago, it was not unusual for bosses to shout, throw objects, bang tables, and use nasty words, behaviors that were tolerated as part of one’s career (Einarsen et al., 2003). Over time, such overt bullying evolved into more indirect forms, like sarcasm and subtle verbal harassment, especially by female bosses in some cases.

Schools also had their share of bullying, primarily by teachers rather than peers. Students who performed poorly were often subjected to shouting, public humiliation, and punishments like standing outside the classroom (Rigby, 2003). These behaviors were considered acceptable methods of education.

Cyberbullying
In the 21st century, bullying has transitioned into the cyber world, predominantly on social media platforms. People spend significant time online, where they feel emboldened to bully others without fear of repercussions. These individuals are often referred to as "keyboard warriors" (Kowalski et al., 2014). What once occurred behind closed doors is now openly displayed on social media, where society frequently engages in bullying behaviors without hesitation, even in WhatsApp groups, using their devices to voice their opinions (Slonje et al., 2013).

Examples of cyberbullying include racism, ageism, mocking appearances, and expressing strong opinions due to differences in mindset. This shift to online platforms has made bullying more visible and pervasive, affecting a broader audience and amplifying its impact.

Personal Experiences
I have been active on social media platforms, starting with Facebook. When I launched Nava’s Zen as part of my digital marketing efforts, I expanded to TikTok and Instagram. Initially, my posts focused on sharing recipes and travel experiences. However, as I began marketing my fitness business, including videos and reels featuring dancing and yoga poses in various outfits, the cyberbullying began. This started three years ago when I became more visible online.

At first, I continued sharing content and felt content. However, after a few months, I noticed people were leaving nasty, degrading, and ugly comments on Facebook. Shockingly, many of these comments came from fellow Indians, including Indian women. Checking their profiles, I found that these individuals were often teachers, professionals, and even held significant positions in multinational companies - essentially, they were part of the educated Indian segment.

It became apparent that it was open season for them to criticize me, attacking from all directions. Their blunt comments attracted people from other races, creating a domino effect where everyone felt free to join in. The men called me names like "baboon" and "drunkard," while women labeled me as "shameless" and "desperate." A common derogatory term among Indians was "mental" or "loose" woman (Hinduja & Patchin, 2015).

When I started using TikTok, the Indian community there also unleashed a torrent of nasty comments. They often related my videos to Hinduism, using religion as a basis for their attacks and writing in Tamil with English characters. These comments, still visible on my TikTok account, reveal a focus on upholding Hinduism and dictating what is right and wrong according to their interpretation of the religion.

This experience affected me deeply. I couldn't believe how mean people could be on social media platforms, leading me to take a three-week break to recover. Upon returning, I avoided linking Tamil songs to my videos, believing that was the main trigger for the Indian community. Gradually, I resumed using Tamil songs and found Instagram to have a more practical audience, although nasty comments still occasionally appeared. I now block such commenters immediately to prevent a precedent for others (Slonje, Smith, & Frisén, 2013).

Another disturbing aspect of cyberbullying was the involvement of people I knew, including so-called friends. They often left nasty comments under fake profiles or even openly. By analyzing their comments, I could identify that they knew me personally. Some of these individuals were Ph.D. holders, including one from Singapore who persistently harassed me under fake profiles, continuing even today with seemingly nice comments to restart the harassment. Even some family members participated in the bullying in disguise.

For fear of being tracked, I did not lodge police reports or exercise my rights by reporting to the relevant authorities. As a business owner, I feared that any action could lead to my business premises or residence being tracked down, causing potential harm to my business and marriage. Therefore, I refrained from taking legal action (Li, 2010).

As a coach and counselor, I have analyzed my own experiences with cyberbullying and identified several key factors contributing to this issue. Through discussions with clients, I’ve gained insights into their observations and concerns regarding cyberbullying. Although clients may not be direct victims themselves, they are often silent observers of the phenomenon on social media and in the lives of people they know. These clients have reported witnessing disturbing comments and have noted the persistent presence of cyberbullies despite the negative impact such behavior has on readers. Their experiences and observations underscore the prevalence and endurance of cyberbullying across social media platforms.

Upbringing Influences
Bullies often emerge from specific family cultures and upbringing environments. Growing up witnessing bullying behaviors, some individuals adopt these practices and become cyber bullies themselves. They feel justified in throwing nasty words at others, calling names, and expressing themselves without restraint, as these behaviors were normalized in their family culture. Some bullies were victims of bullying, perpetuating the cycle as a form of revenge or vengeance. This behavior becomes ingrained in their minds, even for those who were not directly bullied but observed such behavior growing up (Wright & Wachs, 2020).

Among Indians, cultural influences play a significant role. Traditionally, men are seen as superior, and women are expected to be subservient. This belief allows men to get away with behaviors that women cannot. Women who do not conform to traditional roles are often shamed and "taught a lesson." These cultural norms are deeply rooted and perpetuated by women themselves - mothers, mothers-in-law, and sisters-in-law - who uphold the idea that women must respect and glorify men. If a woman is bold and visible on social media, she is perceived as bringing shame to the family, particularly to her husband and in-laws. This mindset sets a precedent for Indian men to cyber bully women on social media (Nayar, 2004).

Additionally, there is an inexplicable link between Hinduism and cyberbullying. Some individuals feel compelled to compare social media actions to their religious beliefs. If a woman's social media activity conflicts with their interpretation of Hinduism, they may resort to cyberbullying to discredit her. Religious Hindu women also participate in this behavior, feeling justified in posting nasty comments if they believe someone’s actions contradict their religious values and norms (Sarkar, 2014).

Modern Upbringing
Modern upbringing significantly influences bullying behavior. Children learn from their surroundings, including how to address issues and handle aggression. When surrounded by individuals who advocate for aggressive responses and indirect bullying, children may internalize these behaviors. Statements like "it's the right to" implicitly convey that standing up for oneself means demonstrating strength through aggression. This behavior is picked up from social environments and socializing, eventually manifesting in the cyber world where individuals feel justified in putting others down if their beliefs or ways of life are challenged (Hinduja & Patchin, 2015).

Parents who encourage their children to respond to bullying with aggression, rather than teaching practical or logical conflict resolution, further perpetuate this cycle. These children grow up believing that retaliation is acceptable, thus contributing to the prevalence of cyberbullying (Zhou et al., 2013).

Boredom & Loneliness
Cyberbullying also stems from boredom and loneliness. Individuals with nothing meaningful to occupy their time may resort to cyberbullying as a source of excitement or entertainment. For some, making nasty comments or joining other bullies provides a sense of thrill and engagement in an otherwise monotonous life. This behavior is particularly prevalent among older adults who spend a significant amount of time on social media, often hopping from one platform to another, looking for targets. Even if they don't find any faults, they create situations to involve others in cyberbullying. This older demographic often feels entitled to voice their opinions, indirectly encouraging others to join in the bullying (Perren & Gutzwiller-Helfenfinger, 2012).

Cyberbullying serves as a way for these individuals to kill time and alleviate loneliness. By being active on social media and engaging in bullying, they feel a sense of community and purpose, even if it is through negative interactions (Wright & Li, 2013).

Selective Cyber Bullying
Selective cyber bullying involves bullies carefully choosing their victims based on specific criteria. Not everyone receives the same type of bullying, as bullies often target individuals who deviate from their personal or societal norms (Kowalski et al., 2014).

Targeting Older Women
Younger cyber bullies often target older women like me, especially when I share videos of myself dancing in yoga outfits. This behavior may stem from a clash with their family principles or a reaction to behaviors their mothers would not exhibit (Simmons, 2002). Jealousy or envy may also play a role, as these bullies compare me to their submissive mothers who conform to societal expectations. These young people, frustrated by their own restrictions, lash out at women like me who live freely. Their insults often focus on age, calling me "old lady" or "ugly old woman," using age as a weapon for bullying (Juvonen & Gross, 2008).

Peer and Slightly Older Women Bullies
Women in my age group or slightly older or younger also engage in cyber bullying. These women might be stuck in a mindset that dictates how an older woman should behave, or they may be unable to break free from societal constraints (Vandenbosch & Van Cleemput, 2009). Their lack of self-confidence and frustration manifests in cyber bullying, using age as a yardstick to attack. Their inability to embrace their own freedom drives them to project their anger and unhappiness onto others (Patchin & Hinduja, 2010).

Men and Traditional Gender Roles
Men also participate in cyber bullying, particularly those who cannot accept women who differ from their wives, sisters, mothers, sisters-in-law, or grandmothers. They believe women should conform to the standards set by the women in their lives. When they encounter a woman who defies these expectations on social media, their admiration can turn into cyber bullying to cope with their inner dissatisfaction (Salmivalli, 2014). For some men, the desire for their wives to resemble the women they see on social media leads to frustration and subsequent bullying (Simmons, 2002).

 

Personal Experience and Observations

Victims of cyberbullying often face significant barriers to coming forward (Livingstone & Smith, 2014). I have previously explained my reasons for choosing not to report my own experiences. On TikTok, I have become more resilient and find the bullying manageable, though I block offending accounts when necessary. The frequency of cyberbullying on Facebook has decreased, but I still encounter attacks related to my age.

 

Cyberbullies seem to have a particular issue with older women who are happy and maintain their fitness. Interestingly, while plus-size women of any age often receive positive reinforcement on social media, older women who stay fit frequently face criticism. This pattern suggests that cyberbullies may struggle with older women who defy traditional expectations and continue to prioritize their health and well-being (Görzig & Frumkin, 2013).

Final Thoughts: The Impact of Cyber Bullying

While this article does not include a formal recommendations section, the content itself serves as a critical reflection on the effects of cyber bullying and the need for societal awareness (Krishnan, 2024). The insights provided highlight the importance of empathy and responsible online behavior. A troubling aspect of 21st-century society is the temporary uproar that occurs following a tragic outcome, such as a person taking their own life due to cyber bullying. Unfortunately, people often quickly forget about such incidents and fail to consider the impact of their comments and shares on the individuals they target.

 

Some cyber bullies are comfortable pointing out what should not be part of comments, yet fail to realize that openly discussing others on their social media platforms is a form of cyber bullying. This behavior instigate others, who join in without voicing that it is wrong. A notable number of people align with the bullies without having the backbone to stand up against cyber bullying, thereby becoming part of the problem themselves.

 

A key lesson to consider is the profound impact of cyber bullying on individuals and their families. Imagine if cyber bullying were to affect you, your children (Krishnan, 2024), family members, mothers, or wives. In severe cases, the emotional distress caused by cyber bullying could lead to tragic outcomes, such as the victim taking their own life, which leaves a lasting emotional burden on those left behind (Hinduja & Patchin, 2015).

 

Understanding the full impact of cyber bullying can be difficult until it personally affects someone close to us. Whether the bullying is intentional or not, it can seem momentarily satisfying for the perpetrator but can have devastating long-term consequences. This underscores the importance of treating others with kindness and respect, both online and offline (Kowalski et al., 2014).

 

Reflecting on these potential outcomes can foster greater empathy and encourage individuals to consider the broader effects of their actions in the digital world.

 

Conclusion

This personal case study sheds light on the multifaceted nature of cyber bullying through the lens of one individual’s experiences. The analysis reveals that selective cyber bullying often targets those who deviate from societal norms or personal expectations, with a particular focus on age and gender. The motivations behind such behavior are complex, intertwining with cultural influences, societal expectations, and personal frustrations.

 

The impact of cyber bullying extends beyond immediate emotional distress, influencing how individuals interact with social media and perceive themselves. The experiences detailed here highlight the urgent need for greater awareness and empathy in online interactions. As we navigate the digital landscape, it is crucial to recognize the potential consequences of our actions and foster a more supportive and respectful online environment.

 

Understanding and addressing the roots of cyber bullying can help mitigate its effects and contribute to a more inclusive and compassionate society. Reflecting on personal experiences and societal influences can offer valuable insights into preventing and combating cyber bullying, ultimately promoting a healthier online community for all.

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